Death is too unpredictable.
I can't help wondering why.
Even though i know its natural.
I guess what's scary isn't really dying itself.
It is having to part with the ones you love that's scary.
You are afraid to lose the one you love.
Because when he dies, you don't know what's like to live without him, you may hear his voice in your memory, but you can't feel his touch anymore.
Like you're lost...
But rather, getting lost isn't as scary as being alone in the world.
It's loneliness everyone's afraid of.
Just yesterday, my dad attended his friend's eldest son's funeral.
Only 25.
And it's cancer.
Earlier, it's the 5 dragonboaters.
Even though i know none of those mentioned,
it's terrible news to hear.
It pains everyone's heart to hear the lost of a young life.
But all the time, when i hear news like this, i tell myself
it's fate that they have to leave now.
Everybody has to leave, they just left earlier.
Nothing you do helps.
An ex-colleague of mine prayed to every god when his wife is on the verge of dying.
But guess it isn't really up to God to decide either.
Call me superstitious.
So everyone is saying now
"Treasure the people you love."
But how many of us really does that?
We do, but for a short period,
then everything went back to normal,
and everyone starts taking things for granted again.
Say, does that stop a person, whose father died recently, from leaving his mother alone after he's married?
No.
I was reading Reuben Kee's blog earlier today.
But the sad thing is, the tagboard caught my attention even before i get to read his posts.
People are arguing, accusing each other...
tagging to tell people to stop, but causing more chaos instead.
He's no longer around.
But many believe he might still read it.
However, i suddenly sense the greatness of dying.
When you're dead, you leave everything behind.
You have the right not to care about anything
because it doesn't concern you anymore.
Just leave, and go to where you are suppose to be.
Leave this pathetic, petty and dishonest place.
Don't come back anymore...
Don't think about the people you leave behind...
Dont dread on the things you never get to do...
Don't cry... .
I promised myself,
when it's my turn,
No goodbyes, no tears.
It's easier for people to forget you this way too.




Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner, You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.
- Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven