subconsciously, my mind shouted "Yes!",
i figured i just miss the times when it was just the three of us at home.
mommy taking care of us on her own.
i didn't look forward to dad coming home. neither did my brother.
the only thing that made me wanted dad home was the newest issue of my 'Mickey Mouse magazine'.
dad made sure he brings one back for me every time.
but that's it. dad aside. i didn't need him anymore after that.
whenever he's back, he shouts at me for not knowing how to do my homework.
worst come to worst, his voice was like BOOM-ing into my small little ears,
and the moment it touches my eardrums, my tears bounced out like pebbles.
and he always forced kisses on our foreheads the moment he's back or before he leaves.
but it was funny how we didn't miss him at all.
now, i'm quite surprise i don't too.
maybe i missed my days as a child with mom too much.
or maybe we're just used to not having dad around at home on and off for 13 years.
even during my 2-weeks stay in the hospital when i was 2, he was only there to see me once.
that kind of experience never goes away.
the memory and that particular feeling stays.
of course, now i do worry abit, about his safety and all,
but not much else anyway.
22yrs of my life, and yet i remembered how the old times with mom were like much more clearly than the kind of life i'm living now.





woke up at 520am today.
mom was already preparing breakfast.
guess she probably couldn't sleep last night.
i grabbed my shoe bag by the zip, knowing the handle was torn.
then, as my fingers grabbed the handle subconsciously,
i was surprised, that somebody had sewn the handle back.
i was moved and filled with guilt at the same time,
for depriving her of so so much of her sleep and energy to take care of us for the 20 odd years.





again, at work, they are saying "we can take it that it's amanda's fault and she'll redo the stuff. it's easier this way. less query on our side when auditors come."
maybe i was --finally-- the one who said this today.
year end games for the sixes finished today.
i had no mood for the post competition match, packed and left the hall.
had lunch at 10am because everyone was just so damn hungry.
stuffs you see in the canteen are no longer the ones we used to see in our ex-primary schools - group of girls sat on the canteen store with legs wide open, fingers brushing, meddling with their hair.
and until today, i still don't understand why ben always looks down and walks away quickly whenever he sees me.
i don't remember making fun of him or anything...
the last time was probably when i held his hand to clean his wound, and that was 'cos i'm in charge of first aid what!-.-
maybe i should apologise to the poor boy...?

BLAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

waking up later and later everyday.
i just can't seem to get up every morning!
what's happeninggggg...
guess i'm gonna be dead meat soon..
the one served on my VP's table!





help...


7am tomorrow. the only way to wake up early is DON'T SLEEP!!

For that horrible sms G received the other day, here, hope this video puts your mind at ease.
The girl with red eyes is Enma Ai!
From the anime Jigoku Shoujo (translates to "Girl from Hell").

Haha! Have to agree the sms would have sounded scary if you have not heard about this anime, but really... it's a very nice anime and Ai is a beautiful and cute little girl.=))
(i've finished season 2 already!)






P.S. to G: for your sake, i'm stopping my blog's song for the time being! hee.

almost fell asleep in the pool again.
went out of my lane and woke up only to realise i'm closing in to the floating lane separator.
sians. this happening all the time...


watched Galileo twice on tv today.
funny. i like simple days like this.
maybe i haven't really grew up.

now i'm in love with this and this is only sold in japan and i can only buy it online. must be surfing too much internet... my 天 ah, pls make money fall from the sky pls! now i'm goin' across borders!

C R E A T I V E W R I T I N G ! ! !

been long since you wrote a piece of creative writing?
start writing one now!!

or relive the childhood days and start playing round robin again!
you never know how the next person will continue your story!



just for the fun... =)