you're good.

but i won today.
i thought i did, but seriously, didn't i?
maybe it seems like i have,
but really, i haven't.


you won.
didn't you?

though i still don't really understand why teenagers these days use 'random' anytime anywhere,
i AM gettin the hang of it too because sometimes things in a day ARE really unpredictable and random.


and things happened pretty randomly today
becos i found myself calling with excitement with Dad at the screen on my laptop with the media player replaying the Krisflyer and Singapore Airlines International Cup videos.
It's a Cup, for god's sake. 3 million.
normal races, i've watched numerous. none of them like these.
im just amazed at rocket man.
he came in 2nd, that made him SG's No.1 horse.
to think an SG horse came in 2nd in an International Cup,
fantastic...
YOU BEAT THE EUROPEANS AND THE JAPANESES YO!


Okay! my soul is back.

finally. a wave of relieve when i sent the sms.
this phase is going to end.
i am backing out.


快乐也好 不快乐也好

只是再也不想孤军做战了

那感觉回味起时 难过比辛苦还要多

感觉被那些教育知识份子压得好底

爸爸说过 不能把自尊摆得太高

但在工作上也不能感觉到有被欺负，威胁，贬低或被抢工劳

看了K.O.三国 戏里说了一句心里话

"有时候退一步是为了挥更重的拳"

我每次都这么想

但或许这次我是没机会挥拳了

其实 心里也很不想挥这把拳

sharon 说我 no guts

可能是吧

每次都会心软 好没用

心里也常常会想说反正事情不严重没必要发脾气

但是却应为退了那一步

而让事情一而再的重复发生

最后又只能怪自己 当时为什么要退后

其实有时退那一步时 总觉得自己好low

不知不觉当了那些知识份子的奴才

也学会了真心对人并不代表别人也会真心对你

想了这么久 终于想通了

大家能忍受的极限都不同

不能为难自己 也不要为难别人

快乐就好

不开心就不要勉强自己

一定会有人比我更适合这个地方

何必死赖着不走呢

May 1st post removed due to violation of rights and confidentiality.


BTW, Happy birthday to my dearest Papa and elder brother!!