I am lousy, I forget things and I give the wrong information sometimes.

Almost a year had passed and I still miss my visual art lessons every now and then. Especially the design and illustration modules.

Started pinning up a couple of sketches (I did on A6 papers) in my workstation last year and people who came by and marvelled at them told me how surprise they were to see stuff like that from me. However, these skills often needs improvement as told by my lecturer. My heart always skipped a beat when I thought of attending her class. Yet I looked forward to hearing her comments all the time.

As a child, I never enjoyed art lessons. I hated art lessons especially during kindergarden and forced my parents to withdraw me from the numerous art classes they had signed me up for at the community centres after attending just one or two lessons. Of course I never knew they had to pay for all those classes in advance. By the way, I was tricked into attending these classes because my mom never told me where she was bringing me to. And I ended up drawing stuff like this at the art classes:

sometimes work gets me down. really down.
not many people find me easy to get along with.
it's okay.
like everyone, i make mistakes too.
i can't accommodate to everyone and make all of them happy.
and i deal with things the wrong way.
i'm still immature and learning.
i couldn't trust anybody else at work,
so i let down my pride and took up my courage to talk to him about it.
and i told myself that if i have made up my mind to talk to him,
then i should trust that he is the right person.
of course i know how nice he has always been to me, buying me sweets all the time..
it wasn't the sweets that had won me over, but how incredibly well he can take my temper.
i appreciate him, and i know that he is not to be taken for granted.
then it made realise that there is so much i had wanted to do for all my love ones, yet this school, where i have no single true friend, is where i really learn to show love.

i remember everything that touched me and changed me:
when Sian told me how grateful she was to me for tutoring her; when Ade drew for me; when Gigi made time for me; when Keni thanked me for giving her a wonderful day every time after we met; when Mom makes breakfast for me every morning...
Mdm Suriati sat down and taught me patiently how to make a rose when i asked her again today; Reymond got me a little figurine that shakes its head all the time implying that "no, amanda, don't think so negatively, no,"; Jean came in and confided that she had a tough day and said she hope tomorrow will be a better day for her; Rama doing so much for me since the day i came in; Sharon brought us rock-climbing and bought butterfly paper crafts for us; Idah helping me out and being my friend even though i dont speak well; my ex-boss always telling me that it's okay to make mistakes "we all learn"; my current boss doing so much for me and making me feel bad for treating him badly all the time.

I'm blessed. and I should learn to show my part too. I guess it is okay to risk being hurt afterall.

Came across a group in facebook today,
and the stuff on it about swimmers were so funny, so i thought i should (quickly join the group) and then post a few here.

copyright from Facebook's You know you're a swimmer...

• if whenever you hear an electronic beep, and you instinctively jump, you might be a swimmer.
• if you have rings around your eyes unrelated to the amount of sleep you got, you might be a swimmer.
• if bugs die of chlorine poisoning when they land on your skin, you might be a swimmer.
• When you learn how to squirt water 15 different ways, you might be a swimmer.
• if a friend asks how a certain guy dresses and you reply, "I only see him without his clothes on" you might be a swimmer. [SPEEDOS!!!]
• if the first place you go when you're stressed out is a swimming pool, you might be a swimmer.
• if you sweat chlorine even after showering, you might be a swimmer.
• if you think bald heads are hot, you might be a female swimmer.
• if you suck at running, you might be a swimmer.
• if The Toadies "I Come From The Water" is your theme song, you might be a swimmer.
• if your shoes always squeak when you walk down the hall, you might be a swimmer.
• if you sometimes have trouble walking because you aren't use to it, you might be a swimmer.

seems funny especially cos it reminded me that i suck at running too.