those you see at work are so different from those i see at play.
i'm not judging them.
but i know what i see and get is what they truly are.
because true natures are shown only when we're having fun.




with reference to the post on June 12,
i'd just like to clarify that no, i'm not turning to christianity.
in fact, i'm far from it.
It's just that it sounds so true about our world today,
i can't help but post it up here in my blog.

my first campfire with this school was tonight.

can't say it's fun exactly,
just an exceptional experience.
being there, not as a student.

campsite visit was yesterday.
saw the kids in action.
the active ones always standing in front of everybody
sticking their little tummies out, waiting eagerly,
as ready to play as ever.

so cute.


"last year's batch was the funniest - for talent time.
a boy was looking up in the sky,
the rest follow suit to see what he was looking at.
finally somebody asked, what are you doing?
nothing, i sprained my neck."

"next year, amanda. join us next year."

we havent been talking much.
this place has been quiet.
maybe all of us weren't feeling good.
i'm sure we can go through this together...


as a human...
it's okay to be upset right?
it's okay to cry sometimes too right?

i hate you so much. when she's upset. and who do you think she is? i hate it when you shout all around at every single thing we do. i shouted at you that day because i can only do it while i'm still sane. i asked you that question because i can't stand you anymore. but my urge to throw stuffs at you decreases as you get louder. i don't know. the louder you go, the less sane i am. whatever problem you're going through should be shared with us, not taken out on us. how are you going to make it up to us? actually there's nothing much too. people think you're not wrong. that we're not hurt. because this is just emotional sickness. its the consequence we all face behind closed doors that matters.

it feels like i lost the only person who loves me enough to understand me. i lost the old you. maybe i lost the whole of you. just as i had lost a part of my world.

Dear God:



Why didn't you save the school children at:-
-Moses Lake, Washington 2/2/96
-Bethel, Alaska 2/19/07
-Pearl, Mississippi 10/1/97
-West Paducah, Kentucky 12/1/97
-Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97
-JonesborArkansas 3/24/98
-Edinboro, Pennsylvania o, 4/24/98
-Fayetteville, Tennessee 5/19/98
-Springfield, Oregon 5/21/98
-Richmond, Virginia 6/15/98
Plus many more...

Sincerely,
Concerned student


Reply:
Dear Concerned Student,

I'm not allowed in schools.

Sincerely,
God

-----------------------------

How did this get started?...
Let's see,
I think it started when Madeline O'Hare complained
she didn't want any prayer in our schools.
And we said, OK...

***

Then,
someone said you better not read the Bible in school,
the Bible that says
"thou shalt not kill,
thou shalt not steal,
and love your neighbors as yourself,"
And we said, OK...

***

Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children
when they misbehaved
because their little personalities
would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem.
And we said,
an expert should know what he's talking about
so we won't spank them anymore...

***

Then someone said
teachers and principals better not
discipline our children when they misbehave.
And the school administrators said
no faculty member in this school
better touch a student when they misbehave
because we don't want any bad publicity,
and we surely don't want to be sued.
And we accepted their reasoning...

***

Then someone said,
let's let our daughters have abortions if they want,
and they won't even have to tell their parents.
And we said, that's a grand idea...

***

Then some wise school board member said,
since boys will be boys and they're going to do it anyway,
let's give our sons all the condoms they want,
so they can have all the fun they desire,
and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school.
And we said, that's another great idea...

***

Then some of our top elected officials said
it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs.
And we said,
it doesn't matter what anybody,
including the President,
does in private as long as we have jobs and the economy is good...

***

And someone else took that appreciation a step further
and published pictures of nude children
and then stepped further still by making them available on the internet.
And we said,
everyone's entitled to free speech...

***

And the entertainment industry said,
let's make TV shows and movies that promote
profanity, violence and illicit sex...
And let's record music that encourages
rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes...
And we said, it's just entertainment
and it has not adverse effect
and nobody takes it seriously anyway,
so go right ahead.

***

Now we're asking ourselves
why our children have no conscience,
why they don't know right from wrong,
and why it doesn't bother them
to kill strangers, classmates or even themselves.

***

Undoubtedly,
if we thought about it long and hard enough,
we could figure it out.
I'm sure it has a great deal to do with...

"WE REAP WHAT WE SOW,"



source: email.

i'm addicted to 少年杨家将!! SO TOUCHING!!!

heh!!!

East coast park today. For simulation purpose.
Great. Put on my goggles and was ready to dive in and start.
But!!! Was totally scared stiff by what i saw down there -- Nothing! Just dirty yellow colour, like a block of solid pressing against the lens of my goggles.
Jerked up my head and there, i lost it.
But still I was forced to swim abt 5 times out there. Man, I need insurance.

But when it was time for some fun, we did go all out to have our 'fun'. Actually, just burying each other in the sand. Plus, adding a little bit of creativity on top of it. Hah!


By the way, treated my dad to a movie later in the day.
Kung Fu Panda. Good. Funny. But I thought nothing more of it initially.
Until dad told me it has a moral. True. That, i overlooked.
It is a typical story -- finding the right disciple to pass on the scroll to, and become the dragon warrior, but the bad disciple comes back and wants to steal it, AND CLAIMS HE IS THE DRAGON WARRIOR!
The choice of character already tells you who will get it eventually. Panda -- Because panda is kind by nature. Leopard isn't. Okay, but isn't this is what we used to watch in the past when we were all young?
But now, kids watch shows like Transformers, Spiderman... where the visual effects were so good that they were simply overwhelmed by the amazing stuff they've never seen before than to care about what they learnt at the end of it. They know that's the villian. But they don't know anymore beyond that, other than admiring the weapon the villian uses.
So, dad changed my mind about how i should look at movies from now onwards.

for a long time, i've been looking thru blogs and numerous amount of wishlists.
and i wonder how pple would think of me if they saw mine.

right.
they'd know they've seen right thru me if they saw it. because wishlists are your wants. and your wants will show people how much of a personality you really have -- What your dreams are. Your hobbies and your interest. How simple you wish to be, and how materialistic you can be.

I accept. Because living in a world like this, you can be indecisive in your wants. You can ask for this, and decide you don't want it later on when you find something better, or when you found something which you think would suit you better. It's impossible to be contented in our world today. Life is far too good. And it will continue to be better. And we will continue to ask for more.

Many times, I found myself asking too much of a friend, a partner and, regretfully, of my parents too. I felt unjust only because everybody gets to do it, and I don't have the ability to. Most of the time, we remember the bad things in our life but in fact, they are the most insignificant things that could happen to us. Because bad things happen less often in your life, it's easier for you to remember them. You blow them up and made them look significant, so you could feel better. Why make your life so moody? If things are not working well, find out the problem and solve it. If it's not working out, try an alternative solution. OR just forget about it and move on.

Till now, after writing some tens or hundreds of compositions and blog posts, I still had difficulty drawing conclusions. Having a conclusion means people know you're going to end your post today. I prefer not to. My thoughts will never stop revolving. My mind will never be less complex than yesterday. I might change my mind one day about what I wrote here today. Till then, I will start another post for the beginning of new thoughts on this and hopefully by then, i would have gotten a new life somewhere where my thoughts would be influenced by better ones than those I have here today.

Was reading this particular book - The Voice of Knowledge, and happened to come upon this phrase which i find, sounds very meaningful to me. So here I am again, sharing it with my
precious friends.

"All humans create their story with their own unique point of view. Why try to impose your story on other people when for them your story is not true? When you understand that, you no longer have the need to defend what you believe. It's not important to be right or to make others wrong. Instead, you see everybody as an artist, a storyteller. You know whatever they believe is just their point of view. It has nothing to do with you."

This is exactly how we should feel. Never force somebody to accept what you believe. Don't enforce it like "it's either your way or the wrong way" (like my big brother had described). I think this is seriously one thing that we should all ponder about.

it's been so long since i've worked so hard on an assignment.

i seriously wanted to give up.
But i don't wanna disappoint her.
i can understand their feelings now.
how it felt to have 100% attendance.
and how disappointing it is to have to come to class and teach somebody who isn't interested at all.
it's hard.
i had been hard on her all this time.
if not she won't have said those words to me on the last lesson.

"amanda you will hand up all your work right?"
silence...
"Right...?"


Arghhh!!
*okayokay, now i just got to remember -- use only two typeface in a poster.

Finally came down to my final project -- Advertising poster.
Meaning i get to use the comp to do my design after these 2 days of "neck-straining" freehand assignments.
My mind is almost dried up for more ideas,
so i figured it's time to relax and be childish!

and,
ask myself this question...

What product did the both of them below style their hair with.. =X

Okay, forgive me for being an anime & cartoon freak.
But these things really do mean -- stepping out of reality.
It expands my imagination,
but makes me post stupid posts to show how much more time I need to daydream, catch up on my manga, and laugh about how the roadrunner beep and have the stupid wolf ran out into mid air and fell off the clift.

nevermind, just let me be a happy blogger tonight.