It was Friday when Mr Kong asked me what i was going to do for my weekend.
"Nothing."
That shocked him. and i wondered why.
"Well, you know there're lots of spinsters out there these days. You better work hard and go out with your boyfriend more often." Hah!! That word does scares me. But after some deep thoughts, there isnt really anything wrong with being a spinster.
You get to travel around the world, do everything you want to do, there's nobody to tie you down, you get all the freedom you need, no need to worry for your husband and your kids, why not? I raise both hands to support the modern spinsters of this world!
But Rena, on the other hand, made clear to me that the shock comes from my age.
"You're only 21 and this isn't the life that you should be living! Instead of staying home, you should be going out more often."
It's time i don't have now. I know i haven't lost my friends yet. I want to live my life too.
myblogentries
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Please allow me to blog this with the heart and mind of a young girl - the 15-yr old girl i used to be, and will never be.
I remembered the day when the news spreaded.
Everyone in the band cried. I cried.
I cried hard in the classroom. I didnt care about whatever was around me that day.
But out of the corner of my eye,
i saw somebody laughing.
Laughing at the fact that I was crying.
Laughing when somebody died.
Laughing at a death grieved over.
It did not matter to him,
but it mattered to us!
alot.
alot.
it mattered that
there would no longer be anyone standing behind the conductor's stand.
it mattered that
we would no longer see his baton wave, or hear his voice again.
it mattered that
the overture was not finished.
it mattered that
he had asked somebody to wait for him.
it mattered that
somebody was waiting for him.
and
it mattered that
we were waiting for him,
I was waiting for him!
The overture would never be a complete set,
for what I waited would never come, not then, and not anywhere in the future.
and the band would never be able to play that complete overture again.
I could not describe my feelings at that time,
because my grief had long covered the angriness i should have felt
when i saw that person laugh.
Today was the SYF central judging for concert band (pri).
I was seated in the first row, so close that I could stand up and touch the stage, along with the teachers in-charge when our turn came.
I watched the conductor stand up there, with his back to the judges,
showing a drawing with a big heart-shape and the words "Air, Relax, Enjoy" written on it to the kids.
I remembered how my conductors used to relax us at the last minute too.
Making everybody smile on the huge nervous stage.
I felt like i was one of them today.
For a moment, he came to my mind again, reminding me of the last time we stood with him on that stage.
Sitting there, I wished time could pass quickly. And that i could get out of the auditorium immediately.
But what the kids needed was encouragement.
I decided i should just put my personal emotions aside from work.
The kids played well, and they maintained a silver.
Good enough for everyone who've seen their hardwork.
and good enough to remind me of memories I would keep for my entire life.
I remembered the day when the news spreaded.
Everyone in the band cried. I cried.
I cried hard in the classroom. I didnt care about whatever was around me that day.
But out of the corner of my eye,
i saw somebody laughing.
Laughing at the fact that I was crying.
Laughing when somebody died.
Laughing at a death grieved over.
It did not matter to him,
but it mattered to us!
alot.
alot.
it mattered that
there would no longer be anyone standing behind the conductor's stand.
it mattered that
we would no longer see his baton wave, or hear his voice again.
it mattered that
the overture was not finished.
it mattered that
he had asked somebody to wait for him.
it mattered that
somebody was waiting for him.
and
it mattered that
we were waiting for him,
I was waiting for him!
The overture would never be a complete set,
for what I waited would never come, not then, and not anywhere in the future.
and the band would never be able to play that complete overture again.
I could not describe my feelings at that time,
because my grief had long covered the angriness i should have felt
when i saw that person laugh.
Today was the SYF central judging for concert band (pri).
I was seated in the first row, so close that I could stand up and touch the stage, along with the teachers in-charge when our turn came.
I watched the conductor stand up there, with his back to the judges,
showing a drawing with a big heart-shape and the words "Air, Relax, Enjoy" written on it to the kids.
I remembered how my conductors used to relax us at the last minute too.
Making everybody smile on the huge nervous stage.
I felt like i was one of them today.
For a moment, he came to my mind again, reminding me of the last time we stood with him on that stage.
Sitting there, I wished time could pass quickly. And that i could get out of the auditorium immediately.
But what the kids needed was encouragement.
I decided i should just put my personal emotions aside from work.
The kids played well, and they maintained a silver.
Good enough for everyone who've seen their hardwork.
and good enough to remind me of memories I would keep for my entire life.
