something funny happened today. was having lunch at TTSH's canteen this afternoon and THE AUNTIE GAVE ME STAFF DISCOUNT.
haahaa. i was like thinking "huh? why 90cents less?" but didn't say a word because the total shown on the reciept was the amount she collected from me, so i assumed she was right.
finally get it when my cousin pointed out to me that "she gave you staff discount". she thinks i'm a nurse. =D
yepp. i'm slow. but slow is good. you don't mean to be dishonest... its just because you're slow. heee..

wheeee! swam in the rain, AGAIN. it's amazing.
like it refreshes you or something.
but had a cold (for 'bout a week already) so feels a lil' different this time.

wanna play myself crazy but always don't have the time.
i want to feel like a kid again. hah! you know it's tiring when you keep surrounding yourself with money and talks on current affairs. i rather jog around the stadium my whole life (and for god's sake, i hate jogging)...


happy happy!!
work's over! and christmas is here!
my first "broke"-n christmas. ya, broke as in b-r-o-k-e.
my wallet's almost empty. sad thing to happen at this time of the year.

in case you're wondering what i'm up to these days,
NOTHING!!
just work work and work, plus going to and fro the hospital to visit my aunt on most of the days.
yea... i've no life.
been putting off painting my shoes and the work i've intended to do on my bedroom walls.
guess i'm never going to get those things done anytime soon.
hahah! my biggest sin: sloth.
did an online quiz some time ago and it says i'm gonna die from laziness (and in front of the tv!)
yea. i rather go out and have some fun than to waste my time here cleaning up.
will take out a bit of my time to do that, of course, when the new year comes. teehee!
(STOP PROCASTINATING!! -.-" i'll try.)

last day of work today. i'm tired. zzZ.


By the way, christmas eve... Merry Christmas to all!

it's been 11 years.
i haven't forgotten you.
every time i try something new,
i remember your words.
you made me strong.
and gave me courage in everything i did.
i haven't forgotten you.
i kept your words in mind all these years...
will remember them forever because
you were the one who taught me to overcome my fear.
and i've developed a love for the sport.
thank you, coach.
thank you so much for giving me something i could engage in.
it cheers me up all the time.
it did. really.
no other teachers/coaches can take your place.
my biggest regret is not being able to make a choice of my own 11 years ago.
if i could choose again,
i will choose to stick with you. and you only. =)))

I'm leaving my new job.
Blame it on myself.
I don't know if it is really my personality or what.
ever since i started working life, i havent really spend enough time with my family and friends.
and so i know i can no longer depend on people to make decisions for me.
i've had alot of decisions to make this past 7 months.
And i've learnt not to force myself to do anything that i don't want to.
So i've decided.
I don't want to waste my life now doing something that is meaningless to me.
Lots of unhappiness now, and the act of my irresponsibility makes me guilty.
I hope it'll be over soon.

Of course, I won't deny the partial fact that i made such a bold decision because i've got another job...
With a school.
MOE attached me to a primary school.
Eh.. Kinda disappointing. (I was expecting a secondary school, haha!)
But i'm still excited. ;p
Hope it'll be a good start.

Peace.

Death is too unpredictable.
I can't help wondering why.
Even though i know its natural.
I guess what's scary isn't really dying itself.
It is having to part with the ones you love that's scary.
You are afraid to lose the one you love.
Because when he dies, you don't know what's like to live without him, you may hear his voice in your memory, but you can't feel his touch anymore.
Like you're lost...
But rather, getting lost isn't as scary as being alone in the world.
It's loneliness everyone's afraid of.
Just yesterday, my dad attended his friend's eldest son's funeral.
Only 25.
And it's cancer.
Earlier, it's the 5 dragonboaters.
Even though i know none of those mentioned,
it's terrible news to hear.
It pains everyone's heart to hear the lost of a young life.
But all the time, when i hear news like this, i tell myself
it's fate that they have to leave now.
Everybody has to leave, they just left earlier.
Nothing you do helps.
An ex-colleague of mine prayed to every god when his wife is on the verge of dying.
But guess it isn't really up to God to decide either.
Call me superstitious.
So everyone is saying now
"Treasure the people you love."
But how many of us really does that?
We do, but for a short period,
then everything went back to normal,
and everyone starts taking things for granted again.
Say, does that stop a person, whose father died recently, from leaving his mother alone after he's married?
No.
I was reading Reuben Kee's blog earlier today.
But the sad thing is, the tagboard caught my attention even before i get to read his posts.
People are arguing, accusing each other...
tagging to tell people to stop, but causing more chaos instead.
He's no longer around.
But many believe he might still read it.
However, i suddenly sense the greatness of dying.
When you're dead, you leave everything behind.
You have the right not to care about anything
because it doesn't concern you anymore.
Just leave, and go to where you are suppose to be.
Leave this pathetic, petty and dishonest place.
Don't come back anymore...
Don't think about the people you leave behind...
Dont dread on the things you never get to do...
Don't cry... .
I promised myself,
when it's my turn,
No goodbyes, no tears.
It's easier for people to forget you this way too.




Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner, You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.
- Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

thursday marked the last day of my employment in C&C.
they held a farewell dinner for me on wednesday night.
they told me that i'm the only temp staff (out of the 4 they had) who got such privilege.
boss thanked me during the department lunch on thursday.
they shook my hands, look me in the eye and said thank-you.
they held my hands and said, "dont cry ah",
but tears already gathered in my eyes.
i got chocolates.
and a dolphin keychain from my manager.
i remembered the first month when i'm there, we discussed which animal we are most like,
and i said i'm as mean as a dolphin. :)
goodbye everybody, i had a wonderful stay here.

friday morning, i woke up telling myself that i'm finally free.
no. not exactly.
i signed another agreement. somebody else is hiring me. and very soon too.
finally realised that i can no longer be what i used to be.
i can no longer act like mom & dad's little girl now.
i have my arms and my legs, and i know how to feed and clothed myself.
i can think now.
their new job is, to give me encouragement, support and suggestions on decisions that i cannot make myself.
whatever the job is, whether i like it or not, i need it to lean on to.

wondered around Vivo to get Ade's present.
then drop by Wheelock's apple store to get my ipod fixed.

"When your ipod hangs, it's either because you press too fast, or there's spyware in your songs.
All you have to do is hold the top and middle buttons together for a few seconds, and it'll reset itself. There, it's fine now."
yes, i shouldn't have challenged my ipod to swtich from one song to a song in another playlist within a second.

less than 5 mins in the store, and a satisfied customer is on her way back to the train station again. :)
had an advance mini celebration with Ade for her birthday in the night.
had fun.
always enjoyed myself when i'm with the 2 of them. even if we did nothing extraordinary.
and now, it reminds me,
we forgot to take pictures.